Black Gate doormen

One of the things I liked about Two Towers was how the major monster of Fellowship of the Ring, a cave troll, was just one of the doormen in the second movie. This week you get to write a response for Sam and/or Frodo to a very imposing looking bouncer at the Black Gate. The winning punchline was submitted by TEFII. There were 19 finalist punchlines chosen for this cartoon. You can read the transcript of IRC Judging Session #395 where we decided the winning punchline. This cartoon was archived on 2004-10-27.

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Top 10 punchlines

benzino		Spam: We are haradrim warriors... Fraudo: ...and we bring this escaped grey oliphaunt back... Rating: 5.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Sat 23 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate:
Rin DOK		Sam: Well, we tried. Let's go home. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Fri 22 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate:
Duke of Earl Grey		S: You did make reservations, right? F: Yes, but I didn't realize we'd be dinner! Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Fri 22 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate:
Duke of Earl Grey		S: Did you know that Illuvatar has a wonderful plan for your life? F: Uh, how about we just leave you some literature and be on our way... Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Sat 23 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate:
Duke of Earl Grey		S: Should I give him the luggage? F: I don't think he's that type of doorman, Spam. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Sat 23 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate:
Duke of Earl Grey		Spam: Could you show us up to our room, please? Fraudo: Yes, I believe we booked the "Chamber of Fire"... Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Sat 23 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate:
LEEEEEEEEEZARD!		Frodo: are we on the list? Sam: God, I hope so. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Sat 23 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate:
Kimberlee		Frodo: The security here certainly rose a few levels. Sam: Think we can make it past while it's snapping Golem in half? Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Sat 23 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate:
dr. joe		Sam: Aren't you afraid? Frodo: Nah -- just leave him a BIG tip after you leave your hat and coat. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Sat 23 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate:
phoenix_rising		Sam: Great! A chippendale dancer. What's next? Frodo: Pray the loincloth stays on. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Sat 23 Oct 12:00 AM | Rate: