Many uses of Beta's head

This week is our 3rd look at the classic episode where Beta loses his head (literally) but also gives Pinchhard a chance to showcase his Shakespearean acting chops! Sevnote: - this was a 2 part contest with all the punchlines for the first row (Pinchhard's Shakespearean monologue) prefixed with a 1 and the final punchline by Pinchhard prefixed by a 2. The first winning punchline 'Wherefore art thou warranty' generated much discussion during the IRC judging session. Some judges pointed out the original meaning of the term 'wherefore are thou Romeo' is actually 'why are you Romeo' as in 'why did you have to be the guy I couldn't love' (I hope I'm explaining this right). Previously, I (and I suspect most of the population) thought it meant 'where are you? I can't see a damn thing from this balcony' (loosely paraphrased). However, it wouldn't be right to fix the grammar in the winning punchline - the issue at hand is he's quoting a famous literature quote and to change the wording would make it unrecognisable. However, I have learnt a bit more about English and Shakespeare and I hope you have too :-) The winning punchline was submitted by mammakins. There were 33 finalist punchlines chosen for this cartoon. You can read the transcript of IRC Judging Session #416 where we decided the winning punchline. This cartoon was archived on 2005-03-27.

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Top 10 punchlines

Salt		1: Pinchhard to Beta, beware the ides of March! Rating: 5.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Fri 18 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate:
Salt		1: Alas, dear Beta, I would gladly have let Measly Cruncher take thy place! Rating: 5.00 | No of Ratings: 2 | Submitted Fri 18 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate:
Salt		1: ...these lips that I have kiss'd I know not how oft. Rating: 5.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Fri 18 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate:
Yorgi		1: Will, wait outside. This could take a few hours... Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 5 | Submitted Tue 15 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate:
DVS		1: Pinchard to Enterprise: two and a half to beam up. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 4 | Submitted Tue 15 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate:
Nietche Keen		1: Lights, please! Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 3 | Submitted Thu 17 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate:
Salt		1: The only thing more versatile than the deflector dish. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 2 | Submitted Fri 18 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate:
Salt		1: Dearest Beta, I shalt avenge thy temporary disassembling. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 2 | Submitted Fri 18 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate:
Ensign Walkonpart		1: Let's do the time warp, again. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 2 | Submitted Fri 18 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate:
Salt		1: It's starting to decompose; the skin has turned sallow. Rating: 4.00 | No of Ratings: 1 | Submitted Fri 18 Mar 12:00 AM | Rate: